A Joyful Journey...

Join Doris Smeltzer, critically acclaimed author/educator, as she muses on topics from eating disorders to the mysteries of life. Often "Featured" are select, astute observations made by Andrea during her all too brief 19-year life…it is she who taught us: the joy IS in the journey!

Self-compassion and "How 'bout them Red Sox?"

 

Just checked to see when my last blog posted...over a month ago!  I missed the opportunity to wish you a joyous Thanksgiving/Hanukkah, Merry Christmas/Kwanzaa/Winter Solstice, Boxing Day/ et al and a glorious New Year--that's a lot of missed opportunities, so please allow me to send my wishes belatedly. And know that my lack of postings was truly an act of self-compassion and a reflection of much needed self-care. 

Speaking of self-care and self-compassion, a friend of mine, Bridget Whitlow, M.S., LMFT wrote a beautiful blog on this topic yesterday. Please check out her timely article, "Three Strategies to Having More Self-Compassion in the New Year" which includes a valuable link to six free self-compassion meditation downloads--a terrific way to integrate self-compassion throughout the coming months.

Now what about those Red Sox??  Evidently, they are a baseball team (thanks to partner Tom for that info). In the interest of full disclosure: I am not an avid sports fan. I know the names of very few Nationally recognized teams (other than the 49ers--and sadly, that's because their COO is on our Board) and I have great difficulty identifying which sport is played by the very few team names I recognize. I wholeheartedly support and am delighted by my friends who are Sports enthusiasts--its just not my thing. 

Given this disclosure, imagine how surprised I was when the words, "How 'bout them Red Sox?" was uttered by me during Christmas Dinner! To my credit: it had been a very stressful week filled with house guests, less-than-gracious interactions, and lots and lots of cooking (something I do because I love tradition and the smiles of gratitude certain foods engender, but it is NOT a task I find soothing or especially enjoyable).

So...one of our octogenarian dinner guests started talking about a diet a friend of hers was on, blithely reciting calories consumed and weight lost and my stunned brain went .... blank. In attempting to redirect the topic, the phrase that popped out of my mouth was the oddball Boston non sequitur.

Tom, knowing my objective, immediately jumped in with information on the Super Bowl and how the sport currently being played was football (I knew that--I just hoped the Red Sox were footballers). Apparently unaware of the reason for the swift change in subject matter, the guest joined in with a bit of her own sport trivia. Success: discussion theme changed without hurt feelings (previous attempts to instruct this elder in the harm of "fat talk" have obviously been less than effective).

In the service of self-compassion, I choose to see the past few months as opportunities for growth and learning and not as indicators of a lack within me. May you, too, be gentle with yourself in 2014. As Bridget's third "Strategy for self-compassion" so delightfully states:

3. Be your own Sweets!

Once you catch yourself going off on the 7-mile-blackberry-bush-path-with-no-berries-and-only-thorns critical loop, use your imaginary doppelgänger to wrap an arm around your shoulder and say, “Come on Sweets, I know this is a tough one. We got this.”

Worth repeating:  "We got this!"

[Originally posted on the Gürze Books Eating Disorders Blogs]

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