A Joyful Journey...

Join Doris Smeltzer, critically acclaimed author/educator, as she muses on topics from eating disorders to the mysteries of life. Often "Featured" are select, astute observations made by Andrea during her all too brief 19-year life…it is she who taught us: the joy IS in the journey!

Friday's baby step

There are few words that can prompt responses within me in such a myriad of conflicted and confusing ways as "binge." Just received the following ad in an email:


In the past week I've read numerous article titles using this "B" word: "Binge on Netflix, Binge on books ... on taxes, on fattening foods", etc. Obviously, I know the source of my negative responsiveness. Andrea died from the binge/purge cycles of bulimia. I cannot hear the word, no matter the context, without my mind connecting it to her...and the intense pain caused from that little noun.

In searching for synonyms that may be less triggering to my senses I found "spree, overdo, binder, splurge."  Maybe it's the connotation of excess that gets me, as these don't feel much better. Although perhaps if they were framed around loving behaviors or kindness...hmm...Nope. Just feels "off"--like depletion could be the probable outcome. I know too well the feeling of "empty" when I give too much of myself.

It's possible that "bingeing" on anything feels counter to self-care. And that is what I wish for all of us: self-love, self-compassion...words that conjure more positive forces into our lives. How sweet it would be if their lived reality could be a simple endeavor, yet it takes time and purposeful practice to achieve. My one simple act in this regard is to delete offending material without a glance at its content...a baby-step for today.

[Originally posted on the Gürze Books Eating Disorders Blogs]

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Silenced by Bulimia (Gürze, 2006).

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