A Joyful Journey...

Join Doris Smeltzer, critically acclaimed author/educator, as she muses on topics from eating disorders to the mysteries of life. Often "Featured" are select, astute observations made by Andrea during her all too brief 19-year life…it is she who taught us: the joy IS in the journey!

Letters and lessons from the past

Over a month ago one of my sisters sent me an amazing and unique gift. It seems that she saved all the letters I wrote her with the intent of one day returning them to me as a sort of "diary" of the past. I've been so busy that I haven't had a chance to look through them, until today.

The letters were arranged in chronological order so I picked up the first dated March 24, 1977--written over 30 years ago! I must admit feeling a bit of trepidation...not sure I really wanted to revisit my past. I was surprised at how much I packed into one envelope--this first missive was 7 pages long and all hand-written. My initial realization as I began reading was that I remembered more than I thought I would...until getting to page two. From then on I had only vague recollections or no memory whatsoever of what I shared.

This letter tells the story of a young newlywed couple (Tom and me) and their toddler's first experience at day care (Jocelyn--Andrea wouldn't enter the scene for another two years) and a 12-year-old dog in her final days. The most surprising part of the letter was actually about the dog--I was jealous of her! Until reading this letter I had no recollection of having felt so strongly about Duchess, the German Shepard/Doberman mix that had been Tom's constant companion since puppy-hood. A portion of what I wrote:

She is the only thing I've had to compete with for attention from [Tom] and I believe it's a losing battle. I just want to see if anything changes after she goes. It has seemed apparent to me that my husband needs that "something else" to love first and then he can love me. Won't know till Dutch is gone. Hope my suspicions aren't true.

Wow! A shocker to be sure (and a tad bit embarrassing--really??!!). I can't wait to share this letter with Tom and see if he was at all aware of my feelings back then. I imagine it will be as much a surprise to him as it is to me. 

If this is any indication of what is to come, I may just allow the past to remain in the past. Yet, I am reminded that this is the time of year for celebrations of renewal, remembering and re-birth. If I keep reading, maybe I'll walk away with not only "refreshed" memories, but a more accurate perspective on the woman I was and how she became the woman I am today.

Sending special blessings during this time of Passover, Easter, and the beauty of spring.

[Originally posted on the Gürze Books Eating Disorders Blogs]

Looking, comparing and taking a long overdue break
Thank you Michelle Obama!
 

Invest in ending eating disorders:

Shop via AmazonSmile or:

Givva
Use Giving Assistant to save money and support Andreas Voice Foundation

Automatically support Andreas Voice Foundation by shopping at Office Depot, Old Navy, and Target.

The book, "Andrea's Voice...

Silenced by Bulimia

 

Silenced by Bulimia (Gürze, 2006). read more...

Gratitude for support from:

mechnaics bank logo

Tag Cloud

eating disorders, body image personal change healing, weight loss self-compassion, Italy bulimia self-love Austria Mothers Day self-hatred Resolutions mental illness killer stress, anorexia fat people, intersectionality First Lady Sequoia National Forest 4-wheel drive Taryn Brumfitt Eating Disorders Awareness Month dancing at bus stop Chimamanda Adichie queer body love Lets Move! Silver Creek Falls self-acceptance Bailey Webber self-care, love Florence binge Nigerian Health At Every Size®, weight preferred gender pronouns Julie Wyman mindfulness, Health At Every Size® Michelangelo high school reunion fat friendly doctors, white privilege weight stigma body body positive Weight Stigma Awareness Week Lindsey Averill competent eating Italians only you can be you American Medical Assn., #Nuerofeedback4EDs judgments beauty nature / nurture, Intuitive Eating wi-fi baby steps shattered Internet meme Kenya spain health and fitness, Body of Truth Mrs. Obama cellulite Rumi, vulnerability, magical thinking Africa self-forgiveness body hatred crash diets, self-loathing Passover models Cutting, public ownership, health wedding bittersweet grief Easter workplace wellness International No Diet Day body acceptance, social media bride & groom memories Alzheimers privacy, independence Spring Labor Day recovery dysfunctional family, NEDAW ritual breaking down walls fat talk metaphors, Independence Day lessons learned challenges Renfrew Perspectives New Year extended family, shame, non-binary gender healing metaphors, black & white thinking Andreas Voice, fat acceptance,

Andrea's Voice...

Silenced by Bulimia

 

Silenced by Bulimia (Gürze, 2006). read more...

Invest in ending eating disorders:

Shop via AmazonSmile or: